Embracing the MESSessary

Escaping digital perfectionism in a world gone online.


Ping. Swoosh. Buzz. Flash. Nudge Nudge Nudge (reminder to breathe). Water droplet (must be mom!). Ring Ring Ring (I'll call back). Banner. Calendar reminder (I thought that was cancelled! What’s going on now… texting Brady to check). Breaking news (Oh! What's that about?). Bloop. Tap Tap Tap. Buzz... Buzz... Buzz...  

If this is your tech-reality, then welcome to the family! You’re in vast company. Perhaps, like me, you've accumulated it into your world in an ad hoc fashion - downloading all manner of apps and possibly following the odd fad. The last year (plus) of the pandemic has not helped. But it's not like we were particularly digitally feng shui'd before the days of isolation, anyway.  

“So what now?” you ask. “I’m not sure I’d wish to keep pace with what these systems are doing to my day.”  

Easy now. Let’s take a moment to explore our e-motions. Consider which of the statements below ring most true to your current experience with technology. It’s likely a mixed bag.


Gratitude | I am grateful for all tech helps me to do and be today. 

Enjoyment | I experience joy when I am online, accessing helpful systems and services. 

Accountable | I automate what systems I can to create ease and flow in my life. 

Responsible | I see technology supporting me in the relationships, partnerships, responsibilities and pastimes of my life.  

Aspirational | I feel engaged and alive in applying technology to the process of living the life I most desire. 

Hopeful | I plan to build an online business. 

Lost | I don't know what half the stuff loaded to my device/s does. 

Guilty/ashamed | I've not reckoned with the costs of what I'm not using. 

Resentful | I resent the amount of time I'm ‘wasting’ online. 

Harassed | I ignore all the notifications but then have to handle a backlog. 

Intimidated | I consider the technical stuff  (like 'security’) to be outside of my mental reach.  

Overwhelmed | I can’t navigate the deluge of notifications I have coming in on my device/s all day, every day. 

Fearful | I'm worried all the time – that I'll get hacked or delete something I shouldn't. 

Victim | I feel tech adds to my life's burdens. 

Enslaved | I feel the technology in my life has me working for it

Addicted | I'm always in trouble for spending too much time online. 

Alienated | I want nothing to do with technology. 


Repeat the exercise now in relation to the statements you would rather be ‘true’ for the future.  

From this point of awareness, you’ll likely have a strong intuition about what you need to do next. If you don’t, respect where you're at right now. Know that you can trust yourself to shift as opportunities to do so easily arise. Also, enjoy each moment of engaging your so-called digital 'mess' - knowing what feeling you're wanting the transformation of it to hold.  

Because emotions are an integral part of our experience with technology, it's important to realise how much gratitude you feel for what beauty, creative capability, entertainment, education, relationships, ease, time, business opportunities, service-access, insights, important information, practicality and profound conveniences technology has injected into your life today. 

Connecting with technology from the point of our humanity is, perhaps, one of the most important things we could possibly be doing at this point in history.  

The Dalai Lama said it, perhaps, most plainly: "Whether technology’s effect is good or bad depends on the user. It’s important that we shouldn’t be slaves to technology; it should help us."

By Maria Kostelac 

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